and back

I m in the Wanchai office and I feel kind of sick, I feel a slight headache and feel quite nauseated here. The air is bad from outside the window and there is someone smoking in the kitchen here every now and then. It's just a bad environment to work in. It does cause sickness and it's pollution caused. Also there is this office up stair which is innovating so there's a lot of construction noise from up there. It's horrendous here.

Being back at church, I get busy pretty quickly. I have to lead Bible study, Isaiah, which is not too bad but the thing is that I am working at the same time. It's not bad but then I am surprised at how busy I can get with helping out and be in the middle of other stuff.

One realization is that there are so much stuff to be done, so much to do but the doers are little. There's not a lot of doers. I get calls to do this and that sometimes and I do think about why it's me.

Organization is lacking too. I realized that probably most people are not into the grind work in church. It's not fun. You don't get noticed, you don't get fame but it's all important. It's the gel, the glue and let everything be together. Organization is very loose. I think it's part of culture here and relationship can be better. There is a good number of people who would only appear when there's something fun and interesting to do. It's lonely for the doers. I do lonely at times and I don't get much support.

I am not sure if it's with being a PK, I don't get to be invited to a lot of the fun stuff but I get called on for grind work a lot. It's like as if I am paid staff or something but I am not. I am just another person at church. Maybe I am reliable or something, or maturer. Actually that's what Pastor Yap told me, it's always the capable who are doing stuff. Not really actually, I see a lot of people who are capable but they just decide to do stuff outside of church.