lessons from basketball

I really appreciate how Alex and Ah Sang lead the basketball ministry at CBC. We are fortunately to have them leading us.

I regret on blowing steam on Carlos today. I thought I had to because I felt disrespected and that I was being misunderstood. I usually am pretty easy going and don't complain but today was just too much. We had a new guy playing the inside with me and he didn't know the form. I looked lost because he wasn't going where he was suppose to so I had to wait and see what was going on to complement him, whatever that he was doing. The guards threw bad passes and I was blamed for them. What the heck? They shouldn't be throwing the ball at me when I was turning around. They shouldn't be throwing the ball into the hands of our opponents and I didn't need them to tell me how to play defense.

I just felt like I was getting all the criticism and that wasn't fair. I didn't force the show 5 times over, I didn't just pass the ball into the opponents. I didn't turn over that ball.

I hustled, I boxed out, I ran down rebounds, I was adjusting to my new position, adjusting and helping my inside might to get into position and going the other way when he was going to the wrong spot.

But I felt like I was getting a lecture from every little mistakes I made and that wasn't fair. I actually regret when Sang came over and talked to me about what I didn't do right but I had to tell him my view. I appreciated him coming over and I probably gave him a hard time when I explained my view. But I just couldn't stand the guards blaming me when they couldn't deliver the pass and turn the ball over, and teaching me to play D when they were lost themselves.

But still, I regret blowing up steam at people. Part of me felt that I was too old to be doing that but I actually know a lot of older people who do that, yet I am playing mostly with people younger than me so I should actually be a role model. But at the same time, I had to stand for myself and explain myself to others.

I actually really impress with Sang's maturity at such a young age and Alex's love, bluntness and hospitality to the guys. I felt a bit bad talking back to Sang but I had to, because I think I was treated unfairly and was disrespected.

However, we turned up to be the top team this Saturday.

Alex later talked to me, and then with my team. Sang later talked to me when I was ordering lunch and it was nice. I actually could not imagine myself be treated as well in TC especially in the basketball team. Alex and Sang have more EQ. And it's nice that I am not the PK here when I had so much pressure that I could not really show my emotions all that much. I had to keep a lot to myself at TC, and internalized a lot of stuff which wasn't healthy to me.