End of the Semester

so time flies and I am at the LAST WEEK of my first semester at University of Technology, Sydney (UTS).

and here I am with less than 5 days, in a mad dash to the finish line in just little more than 4 days to go to finish my stop-motion animation and my 12-15 page documentary film script/treatment/essay.

i just went to the last Focus meeting of the year and we had Thomas graduating along with others.

just great props to the leaders at Focus for being so generous, loving and service. Kian, Paul, Kevin, John, Thomas and others were just super. So kind and humble. Where do you get these people? Especially Kevin, John and Thomas...so pure, gentle, humble, ready to serve with such obedience. Selfless. They are like peace, you become peaceful near them.

the song, Leaving On The Jetplane by John Denver came to mind, and I think it's because I am not going to see them for a while.

sometimes i wish the world is like that, people doing good with no selfish motives, being there just to serve, not to gain whatever and they do get blessed, believe me.

James and Lee Anne with their two very young sons, one being just 6 months old are going to China. and part of me think, that's nuts. your kid is barely half a year old and you are going to China? people in China want to come over here and you are going over there, and without a job!!?!?! are you guys crazy? You don't know the language? Why are you doing this?

That's what happens I guess, when you get called. You just do it.

It's impractical and in worldly sense, it's stupid but there is something more than the world.

So, thank you and good luck. May the Lord be with you and take care of the little ones. Emmanuel.

-and i should get back to work.

Hot Pot Reunion

I don't know but well, I wish I have can show more emotion, is less shy and be a bit more entertaining. So tonight, it was really nice how we had a reunion with most of the old buddies at SCAC at Janice's place. It's was very heart-warming and I totally appreciate it. Sucky as that I couldn't get to talk to most of the people while eating. I also don't like the limelight, I am just a shy person. I don't know how to handle myself with a lot of attention. I just don't know what to do. I am also very slow spoken so not really a guy to entertain everybody. But I do have a lot to tell the guys.

It was good Michael was here. Saw him first time since 4-5 years ago and he changed a bit. But it was fun and he's really funny and weird. It's so fun catching up. I can't believe how old we are. And amazed at how our friendship still stand and the love that it is there. They actually tell me stories about me that I can't remember. I was a bad kid then, I wasn't well actually, just playful. Karina told me how Danny and I tossed her into the lift...?? I don't remember. Jennifer told me how I threw a rock into the girl's cabin at night and left some undies there. Danny made the explanation that we just seeing if anybody lost their undies. So a lot of memories came back.

Have we changed? I think a little. Danny was still there. Zena, Karina, Selina, Guy, Ena, Jennifer are the same. I think some core personality stays. I probably changed a lot. I am more reserved and guarded now. I think it's how being a PK changed me and my personality. I have learned to withhold a lot of emotions, especially hurt and anger within me and not show it. I learned to keep a lot of stuff to myself. It's crappy life really, but it's for the benefits of others. And it does pay off.

Just a few days ago, I was chatting with an ex-colleague and she was actually really impressed with me. I didn't know that and as we chatted, I realized that God used me and all the suffering was worth it. I didn't let God down and His name was guarded. Even the person who was treating me like crap was moved. I was afraid that I might lose testimony and just so thankful that I didn't and everything turned out well.

At times I don't know how to deal with myself, and I think situations forced me to act certain ways. I wish I will learn more and be better at being myself. At times I feel like am containing myself a lot and just losing myself and my personality. Just too much stuff under cap.