It's actually only the end of my second week back in Sydney, Australia but it feels longer because of all the work I have been doing and been actually quite busy.
I don't understand exactly on why. It's a mystery. I have a tendency here to wake up earlier than I want to here. I am not sure if it's because the blinds don't exactly work to block out the bright Australian morning sun from illuminating my room in all its splendor.
I wonder if it's fate. Why do I feel this way? Why is that actually. What's going on?
I decided not to see the basketball game last night because I was just dead tire. I woke up early again today however, got about 6 hours of sleep and it's a bit weird now, having so much time yet i don't want to do any school stuff. at the time during the week, i really wanted to write but couldn't and now that i can, i can't find things to write yet at the same time i am writing.
i went to swim in the pool for the first time in Australia since '96. That's pretty crazy. I went with Paupau to the Hurstville Aquatic Centre and the facility is really nice there.
i don't feel like cleaning up my room, but i know i should, it would make me feel so much better. I should do some writing or better, at least some reading but i am actually getting a little tire. part of me just don't want to think to hard.
it takes me about 20 minutes to walk to and from the station and it often gives me the time to just think, especially at night when i walk back if i am not too tire. i like walking, even if a bad leg.
it was nice at the aquatic centre and i should really take advantage of my student concession card while I can. i thought about the life i want to live and Australia kind of fit the bill.
what do i really wanna do? i want to be able to go to seminary or Bible college as they call it here, and do a grad dip and maybe later a master. raise a family, have a 9-5 job that afford me the things i need to live on and to save for purchase of a house. fall in love with a girl who also would love me, who love God, have a few kids. and every once in a while go dine in a nice restaurant with her. sounds quite simple but i don't think that is.
i think my life is that, i can't really plan. i don't know about the future. i don't know about the next 2 years. I can't see what's going to happen. I am just taking it step by step. And maybe that's how i should go at it in everything. i often put my future on hold because of my restlessness or inability to stay or feel to be in any place permanently. it could be Australia.
today while wrestling not to get up, i half dreamed about how when i was still inside my mom i had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck and the doctor decided that i needed to be taken out to save me from suffocating, one of my leg was turning blue due to the lack of oxygen. it was funny, i was looking at all these happening as a 3rd person, watching myself in the womb, the umbilical cord around me, getting pulled out.
I felt like as if God saved my life and allowed me to live. that was comforting. made me feel special in some way.
