Sunday, April 26, 2009

what can you do?

What can you do?

Men are sooooooooooo limited

Just gotta give it up to God

Just gotta pray, pray hard, change ourselves and let God reign in us.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

not about that

I think in life, it is very easy to compare and compare just about everything, like, what other people have, accomplished and etc. And it would make you lost because the pasture always seem to be greener on the other side. But just have to remember that we are all made uniquely and comparing would just make us lost (although it would also make us fit and and confirm our decisions). 
I believe there are things that are instilled in us. Something that we cannot change (or is it just me?). I find myself to be a naturally laid back person who is often made to do something because I just can't stand the ways things are and believe in betterment. I can't help it. I often feel compelled to do things. To make a difference. I just can't help it. It's like my nature. It can be racism, discrimination or just dumb cycles. Both most of them are outside of myself. 

work ... killing ... me

I really don't like coming home late and tire. I give like 12 hours to work no including over 2 hours of commute on the MTR. I am just sick of the hours.

It's so hard to be good. So hard to learn about suffering. So hard to do good without much support. Now I understand why Paul wished to return. Ignorance is really bliss. Good people are always the ones getting hurt and we don't hurt back because we know better. Our cuts are the deepest yet because of our nature, we found it hard to hurt back. It's just not in us. We want the world to be a better place, we want to care and love, not hurt or hate. It pains us to hurt, to hate. We hate guilt.

We face liars but we can't lie or blast them. We face schemers but we can't scheme back because it is wrong and unnatural to us. We can't do such a thing, it is not in us and our hearts would not allow us to do the same.

We might have emotions and anger but it is only natural and not intended to hurt others.

I just hope everybody is pure hearted. That they would know better. Be able to tell right from wrong and the Way, which will guide them in all circumstances.

Earth is just not a great place to be.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Beginning

Once you press the button, then there's no way of going back. The machine starts and there's nothing you can do but walk, if not run, on the rotating belt. 

There are so many choices. 

As soon as it begins, it's starting to end. As soon as it starts to grow and get the hang of things, my feet are chasing the shoes again. I don't really get this. I just know that for a while I didn't want to settle. I don't know whether it's good or bad, that I often feel very temporary, like a visitor from outer space wherever I am. Belonging to no where and everywhere. I wonder how the puzzle will mesh together. What picture it would form. 

One step at a time, and according to Ellie's dad from Contact: "Small moves, ... small moves."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

reverse

Editing a book and the more time i am spending on it, the more mistakes and inconsistencies in style i find. At first I wasn't looking at it too carefully expecting the editor who previously worked on it to catch the little things (like style) but I was wrong. Now I realized that I just got heaps of stuff to do with this book. Honeymoon is over.

KFC

Sometimes, you just want KFC, original recipe. The skin. The meat. The spices. So good. But there's no KFC around here, at least not in walking distance. The closest thing is McDonald's McWings.

How do you know if you are working too much? When your left eye is shaking.

reverse

Editing a book and the more time i am spending on it, the more mistakes and inconsistencies in style i find. At first I wasn't looking at it too carefully expecting the editor who previously worked on it to catch the little things (like style) but I was wrong. Now I realized that I just got heaps of stuff to do with this book. Honeymoon is over.

KFC

Sometimes, you just want KFC, original recipe. The skin. The meat. The spices. So good. But there's no KFC around here, at least not in walking distance. The closest thing is McDonald's McWings.

How do you know if you are working too much? When your left eye is shaking.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Developmental Stages of Erik Erikson

to live is Christ, to die is to gain Philippians 1:21

being a Christian is hard, it's one thing to believe and another thing to live it and be a living testimony.

to live is Christ, to die is to gain.

The world isn't at all a pleasant place. And then we have our own pride. we have our stupid hate and whatnot. death for Paul was like liberation because he was getting through tough earthy challenges to do God's will on earth.

to know other people you need you get disappointed with people, like in Chinese martial art stories where you have to test each other skills through martial art challenge.

I am fund raising for EFCC Hike for Macau. The money is for a adult learning center in Macau run by EFCC. I did it 2 years ago but fund raising was better last time, don't know why. Maybe because my fellowship as a whole was held on Friday and it was easier to find people to fundraise. I remember people who I hardly know just took my slip and signed their name and amount of $ to donate. It was great.

It's a bit different this year. I don't know if it's the financial crisis and the economy, but some people actually refused! I was shocked. It was like a train wreak. I was like, "What the heck?" I mean, you can put down $20 (about US$2.25) at least. It was discouraging. I don't really get it. How much is $20? That's two drinks, 3 MTR trips, a bowl of noodle, an afternoon tea at a very cheap tea restaurant. I guess the good side is that it really tells you something about people. And that...Americans in comparsion are just so much more generous than Hong Kong people. I don't buy the economy excuse actually. I think we are just very spoiled and lack faith. Faith that God would put the money to good use and that God would take care of their needs.

I think people do put money too high on their priority.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

i...

i...still can't believe in myself...

i was making a quiz online and I accidentally went to another website thinking i was using another tab and all was lost. 

i think the tabs are somewhat distracting if not annoying. 

will i have more time? i don't think this is normal and i have been abnormal for almost 2 years now. i m seriously thinking that there need to be a change in life style. not just career-wise but also my soul and mind. i need transformation. i need to change. be transformed. i can't live like this. 

is life like star wars? 

well, i need to renew my relationship with the Almighty.