Thursday, December 17, 2009

and back

I m in the Wanchai office and I feel kind of sick, I feel a slight headache and feel quite nauseated here. The air is bad from outside the window and there is someone smoking in the kitchen here every now and then. It's just a bad environment to work in. It does cause sickness and it's pollution caused. Also there is this office up stair which is innovating so there's a lot of construction noise from up there. It's horrendous here.

Being back at church, I get busy pretty quickly. I have to lead Bible study, Isaiah, which is not too bad but the thing is that I am working at the same time. It's not bad but then I am surprised at how busy I can get with helping out and be in the middle of other stuff.

One realization is that there are so much stuff to be done, so much to do but the doers are little. There's not a lot of doers. I get calls to do this and that sometimes and I do think about why it's me.

Organization is lacking too. I realized that probably most people are not into the grind work in church. It's not fun. You don't get noticed, you don't get fame but it's all important. It's the gel, the glue and let everything be together. Organization is very loose. I think it's part of culture here and relationship can be better. There is a good number of people who would only appear when there's something fun and interesting to do. It's lonely for the doers. I do lonely at times and I don't get much support.

I am not sure if it's with being a PK, I don't get to be invited to a lot of the fun stuff but I get called on for grind work a lot. It's like as if I am paid staff or something but I am not. I am just another person at church. Maybe I am reliable or something, or maturer. Actually that's what Pastor Yap told me, it's always the capable who are doing stuff. Not really actually, I see a lot of people who are capable but they just decide to do stuff outside of church.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

First week in Hong Kong

It just past my first week in Hong Kong and started my second week at Visible Record.

Hong Kong is a place that's kind of unsettling for me. I don't feel very natural here. This place makes me think and makes me be more restless than usual. I just have this very strange relationship with this place. I think I do sleep better back in my room, even though it's more of a hole than a room.

I think it is the culture. Hong Kong is not a very natural place, that's the reason why so many people who left Hong Kong for study never come back. It is a very competitive place but at the same time, the pot is not that big. It's also, for me, quite an illogical place filled with contradiction.

And, people, other than those in service professions (even that is questioned), are quite rude.

Hong Kong people talk a lot but seems to lack the ability to solve long-term problems. Basically, a lot of talk but not much action. There are many ways that they are just not that mature. They are really smart at getting shortcuts, getting meager tasks done quickly (but not necessarily well) and taking advantage of others and arguing but as for actual work, I am not to sure about.

There is also a stubbornness also.

At the same time, I don't think the Hong Kongers of this age are the same as the ones who made this place great. People have become very greedy and selfish. But actually, that is the trend of the world, I see it in America too, but it is not so wide spread. For America, that would be true for those who are rich and in power, but here, it extends across classes and is quite general.

I think the environment is a factor. People have to survive, people are less secure here. It is true, especially when comparing with Australia. So, in a sense, I don't really blame Hong Kongers for the way they are but at the same time I think there can be improvement. I believe in social betterment. It has to do with being an idealist. I have ideals.

Another thing is Hong Kong lack long-term vision and purpose. Everybody knows about this but not much has been acted on it. I believe the government has a huge responsibility in that. People pay tax and give so much resource to it, it should take care of people's future.

On the street, I look around and I see children, lively children, as smart as any in the world and I worry about them. What would they do when they grow up? What world will they be living in? Will they have a job with a livable income? Will there be opportunity to fulfill their potential?

What will they learn in the coming years? How to be a smart-mouth? To be rude and disrespectful? It seems that way. Well, there are many good kids as I seen from my experience working in school, but what culture are we to give them?

What culture do we want to give them for them to live in?

I am dissatisfied with this society and I envision a much better place and I want, in the very lease, so effort to make a difference, to make some improvement.

In Hong Kong, there is always this complain of American or western "individualism" but I must say, China has not been able to be "united" for a very long time. It's a modern Chinese syndrome, Chinese just can't work with one another. Harmony is a myth in China. People are selfish and greedy and sometimes they don't even know it. Money is paramount. You talk about money and everybody will listen. Money is god in China.

Same goes to Hong Kong.

In Hong Kong, teachers find students to be harder to teach to, church pastors find it hard to lead, parents find kids to be harder to please and raise. We have an unhealthy culture here.

I am not sure if it's the invasion of capitalism without a strong moral backbone. The western world has a Judea-Christian background which is its moral guide, but what about China? Hong Kong? China, thanks to the Communist Party, has a huge spiritual and moral vacuum. Hong Kong? It doesn't really appreciate its background, its history, and it's just finding out now about what history is. It's a young city really.

How about the church? It is being invaded by worldly ideas. I think it has to do with people's lack of this consciousness that we are in this fight. There is a spiritual warfare and we are suppose to be ready and be light and salt but for some reason, we like to fight against one another. Just weird. It's the lack of purpose.

So what do I think of this place? I find this place sad and pathetic. I love it but it griefs me. I can tell the people over and over again what can be improved but there would be no response and the ones working are few and tire.

In a sense, we are coming to an end. Our children will live in a place less than the one we have today. All we have is hope. The future is bleak, especially for the poor and even the lower middle class. Actually it is same for middle-class but most of them don't know it yet, it doesn't quite touch their nerve yet.

So here we are at this world that is not getting better for the most of us, but we must and have to go on (fight on). We will only live once and this is all we got. This actually makes me think of Ecclesiastes and how true it is.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Back in Hong Kong

So I came back to Hong Kong after 4 nights and 3 days in Singapore. A badly scheduled trip, usually people would go for 3 nights and 4 days to maximize time and cost but yeah, i wasn't thinking carefully when I made the flight plan and so I paid for it. But the stopover was good. Singapore is a very nice city and I do compare it to Hong Kong a lot. Actually, I like to find something from else where that can be used to solve problems or be used in Hong Kong. I unconsciously also do that for LA in the area of transportation.

There are actually a lot to see in Singapore, the place is not as bland as it first seems. And it has changed so much since I was there last time and you wouldn't notice it if you were just joining a tour. It's different when you are walking the streets and using the publi transport.

Man, the chinese documentaries are good.

I met up with Wing Yan on my last day there at Singapore. She showed me different places in Singapore and we had a great time, then we met up with her mom at Ion, Orchard Road. It's a bit funny really, how we were able to meet up after such a long time. Is it fate? I bet it is. She is coming over to Hong Kong in December, and hopefully my left leg ligament will recovered by then so I can go hiking with her.

Coming back to Hong Kong I have to get use to that small room, the people and my mom again. Other than the 3 years here, I have been on my own for 4-5 years so I am quite independent. I think as a result, I am not afraid to be alone, I feel quite free when alone and I do need my alone quiet time every once in a while. It was a daily thing in Australia and US when I did get the morning or late night to myself to do my own things like journaling, reflecting, writing and etc. Being back in the family is different.

Sunday sermon was really good. It was good to be back in Tin Chuen and seeing fellow bros and sisters again.