Long Time. I am currently in Hong Kong, and has been here for the past 5 months or so.

I don't think I am the same person 5 years ago in 2006 when I was here again. I am looking for job and things have changed. I think I am starting over.

Rough Cut

Feel a bit like being in Riverside except I will be walking home instead of driving.

There are things that you must say and do in that moment, and you lose it all if you don't. I learnt it the hard way.

But the thing is, you only know when they passed. The thing is, there is never a perfect moment, just the moment. Nobody never really know when is the best time.

Some people call it fate, I call it trial an error, or even just trying your luck, or hit the jackpot. If you miss enough, you should win the odd to hit eventually.

It's like a slot machine. You lose enough and stay at it, you should eventually win. Of course, there are some luck people out there who just win on their first few round or the first try. But that's not for everyone. Not everybody is as lucky.

I think for me, I just don't want to change. That's why I can commit. I don't want to change my life even though I am sick of it.

Finally Started

Finally started editing MJ and Dennis' wedding video. I started on Thursday but it was more like a half day, 5 hours maybe. It's almost 9pm now and I have only started log and capturing Wilson's first tape. There's 3-4 more tapes to go. I think I just have to come in the morning to get things done. I hope the editing process will take less time. It's actually a pretty big job. But at least it's not a piece of art.

Another thing is Sunny's proposal and the videos from the wedding. Ahh. SOo much and I still have to plan my master project. I haven't even got it started yet! Bummer!!!

I have been in a flunk lately. I wanted to be more efficient and plan things ahead and live a more fulfilling life and get to do things I enjoy. I am just no a go getter. I should maybe go to CBC fellowship hahahahha.

Logging takes soo much time.

Sometimes I wonder about fate and just the timing of things, and at times I would get ashamed of myself for missing opportunities.

Headache

Woke up with a slight headache that doesn't bother me from functioning. Finally made a step yesterday and growing a little nervous and told me a while to get to sleep. And I actually dreamed about playing football on the field in a big competition, probably because I was thinking of that while I was trying to sleep.

Had my first Vietnamese pork roll sandwich since California and it was really really good.

sometimes i don't know where i m going. sometimes, i feel like i don't know what i m doing half the time. you get to open the door but you never know where it will lead you once you step into it. all i got is God.

i don't know why.

today is Independence Day in US and I just wondered, "how to hug america?" I will making spin off a story idea from that. maybe a film about American expat? dunno.

在這個世界上, 有一些東西(d野)你要痛過先會明白。 當然, 你不想被傷害。 但我發現, 你越是愛，就越會有機會受傷害。我意識到，你越愛，就越痛。連你自己也幫不到自己,沒有其他辦法。因為你只可以愛......喜歡, 唔想去恨。

Semester Break? What to do?

I am in my first week of semester break and I really need to get a grip to make the best use of it. Motivation and organization is hard to come by for me.

First I need to finish my application.

I should keep a log and review for film I ll be watching in the break.

Gosh, I think my feeling has been rather confused ever since coming to Hong Kong, and now to Australia it just went up a level. I actually want this weird phenomenon to end, but how, I just feel very unresolved. It's like being stuck in a tunnel actually and not sure which way the exit is, where the light is. The only thing I can do is to take it step by step, and in some chases take my time as if this place is permanent, take care of each day, make the best out of what I go at where I am.

don't get it

I think I am a subtle person yet I don't exactly understand subtly.

I think I carry with myself some elements of Chinese subtly but I don't understand when it's coming from someone else, especially from fellow Chinese. I guess they are on another level of subtlety.

This thought came about with me not really understanding if my landlord is leaving food out there for me or not and why I don't see much food left for me recently. And has stopped asking me to join them for dinner. I don't really know why. She used to ask me to join them.